Evil Puppy Haters

How do you let tainted pet food out on the market in such mass quantities? Over the past few weeks, I have logged onto the interweb religiously and checked the recall lists before giving my beloved Ophie Marie so much as a morsel. She is hungry. I live in constant fear.

The pet food recall terrifies people. Animal lovers can related to the pain and guilt that they see in the eyes of unfortunate pet owners in the paper. They understand that, intentional or not, these innocent people believe that they have poisoned what might often be their closest companion. Mourning, suffering, weeping. Harming your baby, the one that you have sworn to protect and care for, scars the soul.

Now, it is time to get angry. The companies that carelessly sent huge batches of this tainted food to market need to understand what suffering is. In most states, laws could only hold the responsible companies liable for the price of the murdered pet. But, in this age of mega-corporations and lightening fast communication, we can bring them to their knees.

Trace the pet food back to its origin. As corporations have grown into massive entities that produce myriads of products, a boycott of all products makes a company notice. I want an across the board boycott of Hill-Lab Products Inc. that lasts until they personally apologize to each pet owner that they harmed. I want to know exactly what they will do to ensure that this will never happen again.

I want, more than anything, a sense of security back for my Ophie Marie. I want to happily hand her a treat with confidence as she wags her little tail. I want vindication for the pet owners who won't experience that joy with their babies again.

And So It Begins...

I never really thought that I would admire Bill McClellan this much. But, last week, he wrote what every St. Louisian should be asking, "why exactly are we closing Highway 40?" I have not spoken with one person who thinks that this a good idea. Obviously, neither has Mr. McClellan. So, if it seems the entire city is against it, why is it happening?

In December, I hosted a luncheon for the Gateway Mayors Emeritus on behalf of my benevolent employer. A brave soul from MoDot spoke to the former dignitaries about the plan. Even in a room where the audience understands the need for infrastructure improvements and the constant headache of running a municipality, he stunned the crowd by announcing that 40 was closing one way or another. "Get used to it," he said.

I own property in the city. I work deep in the county. I learn somewhere a bit south of that. So, sir, I am not getting used to it. I am getting angry.

Who benefits from this closure? Not anyone interested in the integration of the city of St. Louis. By shutting down the pipeline that allows ideas and money to flow freely across the region, we regress. This is the opposite of progress, folks.

For decades now, visionaries like Joe Edwards have fought to revitalize the historic neighborhoods that once made St. Louis a center of culture and commerce. I doubt that many Chesterfieldians will head down the check out the bustling nightlife on Washington Avenue if it takes two hours to drive there. These areas were meant to serve the entire metropolitan area. Only those bold enough to have forsaken the suburbs for these urban enclaves will support the restaurants, museums, clubs and other venues. As it takes serious money to keep these places running, they will close.

St. Louis, as a whole, will suffer. The limbs of a tree can not flourish if the trunk dies. By 2010, St. Louis will have a great infrastructure. Less will be left to see and fewer people will go to see it. Phenomenal planning.

Play Ball!

Another exciting Cardinals season begins and Tony LaRussa hits the bottle to celebrate. Frankly, I am not shocked. He drives after hitting the bottle. Again, this is not shocking. But, if you listen to St. Louis fans, you might think so.

Sports do not interest me. I can not tell you who won a game or who plays for a team. I tire quickly in these sorts of conversations. I politely excuse myself. I am in no way qualified to comment upon most aspects of baseball. But, I love celebrity gossip.

I read TMZ, Perez Hilton and InTouch as if they were the Bible. I recite the details of celebrity court proceedings with precision. I carefully memorize the pros and cons of various overpriced rehab facilities. Watching the famous stumble brings me a perverse joy. Given this, I have some advice for Cardinals fans: NO ONE CARES ABOUT TONY LARUSSA'S DUI!

This information shocks some. Mothers Against Drunk Driving bemoans the poor role model created by celebrity DUIs. Certainly, drunk driving is a serious matter. It kills and maims innocent people daily. It is intrinsically wrong. But, in the world of professional sport and celebrity atrocities, it is not a career ender.

For those of you who missed it, last year a certain St. Louis Ram sliced another club patron at The Pepper Lounge open with a shard of broken glass. Cutting a perfect stranger is seriously violent. It is a terrible and reprehensible offense. The Rams still sold tickets. Opposing teams' fans continued to taunt us over our lousy playing instead of our wayward player. The stabbing horrified people, but only with the player off the field. No one held it against the Rams.

Criminal behavior and professional sports go hand in hand. The Rams employ their share of delinquents. Baseball players knock a few back and cheat on their wives. Basketball players fight fans during the games. Some pro athletes lead clean respectable lives. They may even be the silent majority, but bad behavior is so common place in professional sports that it is no longer shocking.

Tony LaRussa should be penalized for his poor judgment. But, he should be penalized in a court of law. Opposing fans cannot jeer us for his indiscretion. It would only take one quick Google search to taunt them in a similar manner. Instead, life for the Cardinals will go on in the same manner it always has. They will sell tickets regardless of their performance. They will play well sporadically. They might win. They might lose. At the end of the day, St. Louis cheers for the Cardinals even when LaRussa is too drunk to notice.